I Am My Own Monster Poem by Scarlet .....

everyone fears the monster under their bed
I fear the monster in my bed
I fear me
for I am the one that continues on in pain
I am the one that seeks comfort in the darkness
into this pain and suffer
I am my own monster
my mind is my deepest fear
my thoughts are the only bumps in the night that fear
most fear the darkness
well I live in it
my mind fears the light
for we fear what we do not understand
and I do not understand the light
happiness...what is that
love.....what does that feel like
I fear not only the light but the rejection if I ever tried to come into the light
for when you live in the darkness
you live alone
no possibility of rejection
I feel safe and cold in the darkness
but what is this warmth I hear the light tease about
it do not know how it feels to be warm
I love the darkness’s cold embrace
when I feel it I know I am safe
when I feel it slip away that is when I start to worry
I start to fear
it usually means the light is near
I want to make it in to the light
I want to feel these things
warmth
love
and happiness
but my mind screams no
it starts to worry
it starts to over think
it feeds the fear
and I am stuck feeling it grow within
drowning in fear
I turn and run into the darkness
searching for its
cool embrace
and only then
do the screams of fear stop
only then does my mind slow
and try to rest
only then do I feel no fear\none at all
sure I feel pain and suffering
but I have felt those for so long
they have become my only company
my only friends
I know everything about them
and they know me
and accept me
unlike the light I am certain of the darkness
sure it is full of pain and suffering
but I know how those feel
I understand the darkness
I know the darkness
the light is totally unknown to me
and for that reason it scares me
really scares me