I Am Insane Poem by Thomas Vaultonburg

I Am Insane

I am insane
Because I will not
Chase your dollar
Through fields of
Wild Foxglove

I am insane
Because I bay at the
Bloodmoon
And will not bray
At beer commercials
And do not obey
Your traffic signals

I am insane
Because on my switchboard
All calls to Allah, Yahweh,
Jehovah, Zoroaster and
Santa Clause are all
Answered by the same operator

I am insane
Because I held up
The Bank of America
With a holdup note
Composed of haikus
And demanded only
The teller deposit
My.12 residual check
I earned for appearing
On The Banana Splits
As a child.

I am insane
Because to me
The difference between
A story and a true story
Is less important than
The difference between
Schlitz and Blatz

I am insane
Because I interfere
With the re-uptake
Of your serotonin
Re-uptake inhibitors

I am insane
Because in the elevator
Of my psyche
There are buttons labeled
Pluto, Cucamonga,
Kokomo, Sheboygan, Padukah
Algonquin Round Table,
Deep Night and Help
(Don't press that one) .