'I Am Building A Skeleton...' Poem by Lillian Susan Thomas

I am building a skeleton within,
My first accomplishment of adulthood.
All other projects and five-year plans have failed.
And seeing others soaring on careers
While I, unable yet to walk,
Have known what was the 'missing link' -
That deep bone structure of self-love.
As if born premature
and on a diet too meager of that essential mineral
To ever harden cartilage,
I remained soft as a baby's ear,
Or like a jellyfish unable to withstand
the punch and thrust of life
Except to ride upon it.
As soon as I could feed myself
I wanted this more than anything: to ossify.

But in my childhood all I could manage
Was to toughen skin to a crustacean shield,
Hiding the soft pulp from abuse.
And it would work for a while -
I could crawl about, retreat from harm.
But I sensed my shell was not what I needed:
Encumbered in armor,
The taste, warmth and texture
Of skin-to-skin remained out of reach.

So slowly plate by plate of mail
Sloughed off like scales, as the core
Thickens with the salt of tears
Held back, un-shed, but seeping
Into bone to fill the spaces.