How I Feel Poem by Reya Anya

When I see you I feel an ache deep inside
A pain that's all around me
A glance your way and it all floods back
Till fear and hate surround me

Never thought I'd want you here as I cried,
Or someone like you're supposed to be.
As you walk away I count the steps you take
And I wonder if you ever loved me.

I saw how much you hurt us
I remember being scared
I remember hiding in my room
And knowing no one cared.

They call me 'smart' and 'clever'
But that's just my superficial layer
If only one would lift my mask
If only one would care.

When I look in the mirror
I see blue eyes fogged with pain
After I woke up shaking
Cos I saw your face again.

So I struggle with my secret storm
That I cannot rise above
Because you made me hate myself
And afraid to trust and love.