How Do I Feel Today Poem by Andrus Cassian

If I had my way...that's how this started
how I wanted to compose my latest masterpiece
though in the position I'm in
my thoughts reign weary
as I struggle not to slumber while standing
so I take a seat to distract my bleeding mind
What luck has befallen me this week
safe to say it's all in the wind
Riddle me this: what else can I do to unwind
cancel out the growing cancer called stress
rid myself of the rage rumbling below the surface
purge the persistent pressure upon my shoulders and be myself
but as myself I've exhausted all my options
I'm exhausted but I can never sleep
it waits for the wrong time to strike
with the duration bouncing between hours 2 to 1
creating mire anger I have to unleash
through manner of shouting, mostly at myself
at everyone trying to tell me what I need
Funny thing about what I need
I and only I know what I need
I need everyone to leave me alone, leave me be
all except for five
take me out of the equation and five becomes four
How do I feel today, in love with Esmeralda
and in her regard to her, I still need to construct
construct her a ballad
decorated in purple roses and strawberry fields
a promise I've not completely kept
in contrast to the ballad I gave verbally the other day
How do I feel today
in like, in lust fueled by confusion
with red tinted pink lips belonging to Ally Grey
a confession awaiting expression
only forced by heat and sluggishness
still she's a beauty in tiger skin
never caged but never free
is she even into me
How do I feel today
vulnerable like the song I first shared
with the ears of Sarah sweet Sorceress
vulnerable for consistently letting her in
vulnerable for days I can't control
vulnerable for days I wish to explode
How do I feel today'
breakable so break me out
transform me, glass, into brick
so I don't cave in upon myself so easily
but if forsaken my request is stick dynamite within my skin
end it quickly, only promise to remember me
Remember me, a recent movie I've seen
but did you see this coming
Fin'