How Can I Know? Poem by (De Va)

How can I know what is real?
How can I know if my heart will heal?
Why do I suffer in this depressive hell?
When all I want is to be happy and well?
How do I move away from love buried deep?
When my heart and soul just want to keep
His soul so close to mine wrapped in love,
A love that fills our hearts from above.
Then in free flight our souls could soar.
But in my mind I know it is only lore.
As he is not mine, though I wish he was.
He is free to choose his path, I know he does,
And his love isn't looking for me, it is not my soul he seeks.
Unfortunately, my love will not quit, I am so weak,
I cannot walk away or stop loving him,
Although he will only consent to be my friend.
So I must search the whole world over
To fine the one who is to be my lover.
There was a time I believed in the love I had from him,
But it turns out that I was lost in my own dream.
I took a risk to love him so completely,
I took a chance to be vulnerable if he were to delet me.
And the day did come that he he chose let me go,
I quickly flew high to escape his words, I would not show
The pain that he infused into my soul.
I misunderstood his words and his goal,
My fear of loss made me run away
From the pain of the words spoken that day,
Trying to protect my soul and heart from being broken
But alas, it was too late, I had given all, my sobs then chokin'
The very life from our beautiful love
That I was sure had been blessed from above.
I flew so high that I lost all consciousness.
Then promptly fell deep into the darkest abyss.
Now I can't find my soul, and in him I am so lost,
How can I recover a love that is engaged in frost?
How can I know what is real?
How can I know if my heart will heal?