Homes for Gnomes
Would you give a gnome a home?
Sit him down on sculpted foam?
Find a pleasant shaded spot,
Not too cold, and not to hot.
Somewhere by your Goldfish pool,
They do like water, as a rule.
You'll need to keep your pet dog, clear,
Don't want him pissing in his ear.
And if you've got a crazy cat,
You'll need to just get rid of that.
As for the kids, don't be a fool,
Just send them off to private school.
The pleasure you will get is real,
Such happiness, you can't conceal.
A new dimension to your life,
And he won't nag, not like the wife! !
We bought one, the other day,
To be quite fair, it's in the way.
The bedroom really ain't the place,
To see its grinning, evil face.
Every time that I undress,
I feel it staring, I confess.
It seems to laugh, in measured glee,
Then, it's fishing rod, I see.
So, please, give a Gnome a home,
I'm sitting here, right by the phone......
A/N If you could find him a partner, it might distract him,
Maybe Elton John......
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