Owain Glyn


Homes for Gnomes


Would you give a gnome a home?
Sit him down on sculpted foam?
Find a pleasant shaded spot,
Not too cold, and not to hot.

Somewhere by your Goldfish pool,
They do like water, as a rule.
You'll need to keep your pet dog, clear,
Don't want him pissing in his ear.

And if you've got a crazy cat,
You'll need to just get rid of that.
As for the kids, don't be a fool,
Just send them off to private school.

The pleasure you will get is real,
Such happiness, you can't conceal.
A new dimension to your life,
And he won't nag, not like the wife! !

We bought one, the other day,
To be quite fair, it's in the way.
The bedroom really ain't the place,
To see its grinning, evil face.

Every time that I undress,
I feel it staring, I confess.
It seems to laugh, in measured glee,
Then, it's fishing rod, I see.

So, please, give a Gnome a home,
I'm sitting here, right by the phone......

A/N If you could find him a partner, it might distract him,
Maybe Elton John......
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Owain Glyn

Submitted: Monday, May 27, 2013
Edited: Friday, September 06, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

A plea from the heart.

Comments about this poem (Homes for Gnomes by Owain Glyn )

  • Rookie - 182 Points Karen Sinclair (3/4/2014 4:31:00 PM)

    PHAHAHA! love the humourus pieces respite required appreciated very much cheers they do give me the willys (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 339 Points Danny Draper (6/12/2013 7:02:00 AM)

    When a gnome's got to go, it's time to send them on that trip even via the luxury continental 7 countries in 9 days garbage skip. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,085 Points Hazel Durham (6/2/2013 10:12:00 AM)

    Really funny, with great rhythm and flow. a lovely, sassy write! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 652 Points Paul Brookes (5/27/2013 10:56:00 AM)

    There's no place like gnome. Still laughing, the funniest poem I've read in a long time, Great, I shall put this in my favourite list Chortle Thanks for making my day BB: O) (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,082 Points Valerie Dohren (5/27/2013 10:06:00 AM)

    Ha, very funny Owain - great poem, but no thanks, no gnomes for me. (Report) Reply

Read all 5 comments »

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