Holding My Tounge Poem by playdough person

the hour is finally late
and i'm ready to finish this page
i need to get a message out
sit down and i'll tell you what about
i got here and it was kisses and hugs
from all but uncle greg who grabed a swich and i was quick to run
i was suposed to go to aunt julie
but nana decided to keep me
bill said i had to come home
while everyone just screamed HELL NO! ! !
i was scared
they made me call and tell a lie
heres the reason why
mom has recordings
of the voice of bill hardie
mom did her homework
says everyone involed are nothing but jerks
they put me down
make me out to be a clown
they took the phone
i had to play along
they say i did everything wrong
there are peoples jobs on the line
which is precisly why
i never asked for help and never cried
i'm not a lier
i'm nothing but fear down to the last fiber
i'm in a tough spot
i'm in so much trouble with the entire lot
i now have an inside source
and i've seen the actual restraining order
we all lived with nana
which took effect in Indiana
shes on my side
just asks why
i told her some truth
but a lied a little too
the hour is close to three
but you can continue to read
bill says i scared him
but it was my life i was gambling
this isn't where i belong
but my stay seems to be prolonged
i need to be back home
but that idea has been thrown
i told everyone 'if she got the chance she'd run'
when it finally happend it really stung
i told them something was wrong with the BHC
and now eveyone believes me
i now live in Indianapolis
and all the cigarettes are making me sick
i've been here nearly two days
and the stomach upset and migrane stays
mom is cornnering me
still emotionally abuseing me
she continues to say there was no abuse
but my nanas words can be of use
on day one
i cleaned all i could
and today more than i should
they needed money
and they turnned to me
i should get paid tomorrow
but i'm still a little unsure though
tuesday i appied for a job
the money will be mine, for no one to rob
friday i get a cell phone
i offered to pay the bill though
unlimited everything
but i have to chose wisely
today i got visits from half the family
i distracted myself with cleaning
mom spent time with them, what she said its really hard telling
they noticed somthing wasn't right
maybe they will be on my side
i hate it everyone thinks i lied
expecially the CPS guy
mom plans on sueing him
no one knows how much pain that puts me in
i destroyed so many lives
continuously i ask myself why
why risk it for me
it's my family
i'm the disease
mom has stated this very clearly
the newest piece of drama
and yes it's about my moma
she's sending buby away
and away she wants him to stay
i told you i felt she didn't care
this makes me realize this isn't a nightmare
carl apologised the day i left
said he shouldn't have done what he did
right now i feel REALLY sick
i HATE cigarettes
i'm the only one who doesn't smoke
i've told them it's killing me so i've spoke
so much has happened
but i still haven't snapped yet
on the day of my discharge mom told me
'David isn't dead' i had a feeling she was lieing
she lied in family session
i know there all second guessing
they didn't want me to go with her
they tried so hard, but remember my mom's a jerk
i had no choice
in a split second i lost my voice
she was pissed
so the silence i had to quit
two days in lockdown
treated me like a criminal
i had absolutly no control
i have a plan
its very simple to understand
i get a job and save the money
when i turn seventeen i'll leave the following monday
i will run like hell
and be gone before anyone could tell
theres still more
but soon feet will hit the floor
so i have to go
but will tell you more tomorrow