Hiding It From Me Poem by Joanne Kearsey

Sometimes I feel like this world is hiding the truth from me,
There are things that I know to be true but I am always told otherwise but the general population,
Why can I not speak the truth without being judged by my words?
I wish I could speak freely without such misinterpretation.

I’m finding it harder and harder to trust people,
I feel like they are all using me for self-gain,
Even those who I thought I could truly depend on I feel betrayed by,
Haunted by these feelings that I thought I’d never feel again.

It’s not fair to feel like I do,
Consistently looking over my shoulder to make sure it’s all okay,
But how can I be certain that I’m not being watched or undermined,
My broken soul can not take much more of what lies you have prepared to say.

Your whispers frighten me as I keep my distance,
Your truth never really seems to satisfy my doubt in you,
Waiting for the day where I can truly trust again,
But my suspicions continue to linger like the guilt of being alone used to.

Holding onto what little hope I have left,
As this life ties it’s noose tightly around my throat,
Sometimes I beg for death rather than feeling misused,
And like a good captain I will go down in my sinking boat.

These cuts aren’t healing as well as they used to,
Reading too much into what I can’t understand,
Learning not to trust again,
And there is one more person that I fail to comprehend.

Why do I feel like I cannot trust you?
I used to be able to, but there has been too much gathered to make me think that I shouldn't’t,
I thought I loved you at one point, but now it’s so much different,
And what I felt for you I knew you of all people couldn't’t.

Honestly now I want you to give me reasons as to why I should trust you anymore,
Even if you do speak the truth how will I possibly ever know if it is true or not?
I can’t explain why I’m questioning you now,
But I hardly know you at all which is something that I forgot.

You will never understand how I feel,
I have been hurt too many times by people in the past,
I know I should let go of it all but the pain has a habit of repeating itself,
Something that I had wished many times would not last.