Mark R Slaughter


Her Bum


‘Does my bum look big in this? ’ She glared.
I gulped and stared upon the floor.
I must escape; the bedroom door
Was open. ‘Run! ’ my senses cried.
But I was numb – nerves were fried!

‘Well? ’ She scowled. I sought a subterfuge.
‘It’s absolutely huge! ’ I thought –
But how to tell her that–? A short
And blighted life she’d wreak on me.
And so to Wife, on bended knee

I prayed ‘Oh please release me from this hell! ’
She gave a yell: ‘So is it big? ’
I looked again – a mammoth rig
Was hanging down – but how to say?
An honest man would surely pay!

I stuttered ‘Err... well, yes it’s nice.’
Her voice was ice: ‘But in this? ’
I tried diversion with a kiss.
‘I love you’ also burbled out – but
I was heading for a rout.

I drew a breath. ‘Be a man! ’ I growled
Inside this howling, quaking head.
‘Well actually love, ’ and now I’m dead,
‘It’s colossal – a real whopper... ’
The bedroom shook; I couldn’t stop her.

I daren’t publish anymore…




Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010










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woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman

Submitted: Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Edited: Wednesday, May 11, 2011

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  • Royale Royale (6/21/2012 7:21:00 PM)

    Awesome Mark R. Slaughter. If this ain't one of the cutest poems I've ever read... Delightful... I visualized the anguish expressions/body kinetic this poor fella had to conceal to keep this woman from releasing a tirade. The last sentence is so cute. Anymore like this? (Report) Reply

  • Amanda Simpson (11/29/2010 7:34:00 PM)

    i really like this poem i have been trying to find a poem my man would like and i would just like to say after many poems read i have finally found the one thanks (Report) Reply

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