Heart And Soul Revised Poem by Noreen Carden
Heart And Soul Revised
A heart can break without a sound.
A tear can fall to hit the ground.
No one standing near can tell.
There's not a sign to break the spell.
A soul can shatter separate.
still leave the body standing straight.
The outer shell can smile and talk.
While the soul is on its lonely walk.
Bereft of light and peace it flies
Its quest to reach towards the sky.
Blackness holds it fast in space.
Forever locked in time and place.
Just one touch of human hand
can raise that soul to reach for light
Then mend the heart its hope revive.
To lift its wing's to give it flight
A rescued soul is unconfined.
No chains can hold it fast.
It flies towards the heavens.
Then comes falling back to earth
Cascading down it twinkles,
like a thousand shining stars.
It steals its light from heavens brim
then walks it round the world.
When the human heart has hope renewed
its flight makes angels weep
It overcomes each earthly task.
Its promises to keep.
The path it follows straight and true
Its destiny to meet.
Its sighs can reach to heaven,
When love is what it seeks.
I edited this on John Browns advice he felt it needed another verse but i went a bit further than that please do let me know what you think
Noreen, you nearly blew me away with the balance of the spiritual/dichotomy in the first paragraph and the last stanza is beyond beautiful. Great write! Cheers!
to me this is beautiful, particularly the third verse, well done!
beautiful. My thought took flight with the ssoul and melody of the poem. Fantastic write
Very nice, indeed. Love the imagery, diction and work you put into this.
How easily a heart can be broken. And how much healing can be found in the compassionate words, the kind actions of another heart. Beautiful imagery, such lucid writing. The cadence of the rhythm and the gentleness of the rhyme only accentuate the beauty of this piece. Well done! Bravo! NB :)
Outstanding write Noreen with inspired lines bursting with such beauty about how lonely people can feel but when somebody reaches out to them it gives them hope for a better future! Congratulations on your stunning poem been selected as poem of the day!
I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time. The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD. The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED. Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully) Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only. Very well written; I enjoyed it very much.
I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time. The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD. The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED. Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully) Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only. Very well written; I enjoyed it very much.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/20/2024 8:12:35 AM # 1.0.0.1119
I always admire a poet who is able to write a poem in rhyme.....that is when it is well done as is this one.