Handyman Poem by Jim Yerman

I imagine most people like to think they’re handy, whether they’re single or a spouse
We all like to think we can competently complete those little projects around the house.

When something breaks at our house I say, “Deborah, have no fear! ”
“Why call an electrician or a plumber when I’m already here? ”

Deborah rolls her eyes and tries her best not to grumble or to grouse
“OK you can try to fix it, Jim...but please...don’t destroy the house.”

She remembers that little fire I started...it could happen to any man
When I connected the black wire to the white one installing our bedroom ceiling fan.

Or those tiny, little sparks that flew...it looked like a meteor shower
When, again working with electricity...I forgot to shut off the power.

Perhaps she’s thinking how our kitchen is unique and that is making her scoff.
To turn the lights on you flip the switch down and you flip it up to turn them off.

It could be she’s thinking about when I redid that wall and my skill she is dismissing
She had to admit the wall looked great in spite of the 3 tools I’m still missing.

Or maybe it’s that drawer in the kitchen filled with my left over parts collection
In my defense have you ever tried to make sense of those crazy IKEA directions?

No, I’m sure she’s thinking about the day she was away and I hung that bedroom door.
It has gone down into the history of my household project lore.

I worked all day while she was out. I measured, I cut and I drilled
I was going to win back her confidence and show her I could build.

The door was hanging when she came home, she looked at it, then with a slight frown
Kissed my cheek, turned and walked away saying, “You’ve hung it upside down.”

Experience has been my teacher...sure I’ve endured some pains and aches
But look around my house and you’ll see...I’ve learned from my mistakes.

That door is still hanging upside down as a reminder how anyone can...
If they persevere...if they work long and hard...become a handy man.