Hair Impaired Poem by George Hunter

There was a man from Pierre
Who was very short on hair.
He said it was because his head
Rubbed the top of the bed
Whenever he had an affair.

But no one believed that at all
Because he wasn't all that tall,
So we were as mean as could be
And teased him mercilessly
And called him chrome dome and cue ball.

He said being bald is a winner
Just look at Savalas and Yul Brynner
And Jordan really sped
After shaving his head
And Dr. Phil's hair couldn't get any thinner!

You can always say something neat,
Like 'Grass doesn't grow on a busy street'
Or just give a shrug
And get you a rug
Or comb over and make two sides meet.

So just maintain your stability,
Don't fret about your ability.
If your hair's falling out
Don't worry and pout,
It's just a proof of your virility.