Haikus (The Moon) Poem by Naseer Ahmed Nasir
Haikus (The Moon)
The moon stared hiding itself,
The night was sitting
Nude in the balcony
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Every phalanx was lighted,
In her closed fists
Was it the moon or the firefly?
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The night all bared,
And from behind the curtains
Of, the coconut trees, the moon peeping.
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The milky heat of the moon,
The frozen sky melts
Despair poured, drop-by-drop.
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On the coastal rocks,
Hanging its head, the moon
Sits, before committing suicide.
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The decay of the night,
In the shades of the places of worship
The moon too feels exhausted.
(1985, Translated from Urdu into English by Dr. M.Q. Khan, India)
Excellent imagery but for two points - 'milky heat' and 'the moon committing suicide'. These imagery do not suite to romantic taste of man. Moon doesn't instil such a thought in man. You should have read one of the stories of Mopassant wherein the moonlight plays the central character of a love story. Having read that, this imagery do not go at par with it according to me.
If I were teetering on the edge of a cliff and suddenly I disappeared would it not be natural to assume I may have jumped and if I jumped would it not be considered suicide. Who says the moon has no heat a ligt bulb emits a milky glow but try changing it after it has been on for a while and see if your hand doesn't get burnt. I like this work Naseer even though I'm not fond of this form of poetry. Perhaps because I'm not clever enough to be good at it.
Message from Lillian Thomas: From: Lillian Thomas (Houston United States; Female; 60) To: Naseer Ahmed Nasir Date Time: 10/10/2009 8: 39: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00) Subject: re: 6 Haikus (The Moon) Dear Naseer. 6 haiku, lovely little poems, miniatures of brilliant poesy, but not haiku, if you mean the Japanese form. I don't mean the We have many English writers who try their hand at this form, thinking it is only 5-7-5. But to be at all true to the form, the Japanese use no poetic devices, esp. no anthropomorphism. The images are stunning without calling them haiku. Sincerely, LT
Delightful haikus Naseer, you have really brought out the poetic magic of the Moon..I too liked the Suicide one...brilliant.10
your haikus show the beauty of the moon so clearly. a double ten
They are all highly original and the first one I found particularly provocative. Like the other poets, the suicide one is wonderful. I enjoyed the last one too where the moon feels exhausted. 10 love Karin
Beautiful Haikus, Naseer.The magic of moonlight cannot be overestimated. Each one is extraordinary in its own way, but the suicide one is my favorite.10/10. Warm wishes, Sandra
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 7:50:54 PM # 1.0.0.1119
very good haiku..........