Forever Poem by Kitty Marie Lucas

I love the face of isolation
You stared me down when we said forever
I was such a lucky girl, I'd give you the world
For dealing me a bad word
You said, 'If anyone loves you,
then where are they? You best stay here.'
All the times that I'd been bought
Had been so cheap
That it seemed like a good hurt

In sickness and in health
I can't seem to get well
I'm addicted to it
I'm hoping I'll let someone know me
Like I did the old me
But I can't find her
She couldn't get through it
I'm looking for someone that reminds
Me of your good side
When I know it will destroy me
The face makes the motion but the heart does not
I was never good at goodbyes

Nothing will numb this pain
God knows I've tried if you ever paid
Attention
I'm so sorry I upset you
I'm sorry that you're angry
I never should have mentioned
How every day of the rest of our lives
Makes me die
Because I can't make you happy

Tell me that I'm stupid,
I love all your abuse and
I love how you're dishonest
I'm seeking out a new face
Who runs the same game
Maybe this time it'll make sense

I will make the
Cut clean to sever
My life from you
No matter what the cost
This isn't what they meant
When they said
'Til death do us part
I'm looking for someone that reminds
Me of your good side
When I know it will destroy me
The face makes the motion but the heart does not
I was never good at goodbyes

I understand your self-destruction
But did you have to crush me in the process?
I never understood why my suicide king
Couldn't ever believe in me

No more can I be the liar
To protect you when you're insecure
Chalk it up to me being 'crazy'
You always said I was a failure

Your conditional love will kill me
If I don't follow through
I swore I'd love you forever
But I guess it's just no use

In sickness and in health
I can't seem to get well
I'm addicted to it
I'm addicted to it
I'm hoping I'll let someone know me
Like I did the old me
But I can't find her
She couldn't get through it
I'm looking for someone that reminds
Me of your good side
When I know it will destroy me
The face makes the motion but the heart does not
I was never good at goodbyes