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kanav justa

Rookie - 950 Points (Shimla)

For Those Who Lost Their Dear One's

whatever that exist must leave
like the leaves that slowly decay
or a gust of wind that plucks a flower young
like those flowers some people goes away

is it the blowing wind to blame
or a church where engraved is the cross
a question that leaves us wondering
how would they live with their loss

some look up at the night sky
they search for a star that’s bright
solitary companion to lead them
in a never-ending bitter night

if ever there was a cure
that knew how to ease off the pain
or to burn all those pleasant memories
that dwells in their laden brain

some things don’t have no reason
some things no one can explain
when our skin longs for the sunrays
sky greets us with endless rain

a rain that wets not our robes
but dampens us from the soul
what glory the heart would then seek for
a heart that’s now only a hole

they say time heals all the wounds
yet some scars forever they stay
someday might we meet all those faces
of our loved ones who live faraway

Submitted: Monday, January 06, 2014
Edited: Tuesday, January 07, 2014

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  • Veteran Poet - 2,969 Points Bri Edwards (10/11/2014 5:06:00 PM)

    i looked at a few of the other comments. nice. valsa joins me in especially appreciating this stanza:

    Some things don’t have no reason
    some things no one can explain
    when our skin longs for the sunrays
    sky greets us with endless rain

    the 3rd and 4th lines are really nice; they give a picture of disappointment and perhaps even depression. but the first line has what i believe is called a double negative. valsa, being an english professor, probably is very familiar with this term, but she is probably too polite to point it out to you!

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    copied from online:
    dou·ble neg·a·tive
    noun: double negative; plural noun: double negatives

    a negative statement containing two negative elements (for example didn't say nothing) .
    a positive statement in which two negative elements are used to produce the positive force, usually for some particular rhetorical effect (for example there is not nothing to worry about!) .
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    to me, Kanav, the no in the stanza's first line should be replaced with a or any. i believe the way you've written it is what the definition, above, calls a positive statement. in MY words, taken literally, your line actually means that some things have no reason. at least no known reason.

    if I remember correctly, when I was taught about double negatives in school, they were always an example of poor/incorrect English i.e. a mistake of sorts, and the speaker/writer did not use “proper” English. BUT AS I REVIEW THE DEFINITION ONLINE, it seems that it is sometimes, at least, considered “proper”, but I say it is not to be taken literally in those cases, since, to me, one “no” or “not” cancels out the other. I have known people who have used double negatives. it reminds me of saying something like “a tiny little stone”, something I’ve been “guilty” of saying. tiny and little don't cancel each other out though. i guess it is an example of a redundancy, but it makes me think of a double negative.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    IN THE TITLE: One's should be Ones. meaning more than one person. one's is the possessive form of the pronoun one. i have to remind myself of this. i had to look it up again to be sure, assuming what one reads as an explanation online is accurate. unlike the possessive word its, one's DOES require an apostrophe to be correct.
    - - - - - - - - - - -
    from online:

    The possessive pronoun “one’s” requires an apostrophe before the S, unlike “its, ” “hers, ” and other personal pronouns. Examples: “pull oneself up by one’s own bootstraps, ” “a jury of one’s peers, ” “minding one’s own business.”

    A simple test: try inserting “anyone’s” in place of ”one’s.” If it works grammatically, you need the apostrophe in “one’s” too. When “one’s” is a contraction of “one is” it also requires an apostrophe: “no one’s listening, ” “this one’s for you.”

    The only times “ones” has no apostrophe are when it is being used to mean “ examples” or “people” as in “ripe ones” or “loved ones, ” or in the informal arithmetical expression “the ones column.”
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    some people goes away..............in this case i would write people go away, thinking of people as they.

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    i COULD say more, of course, but time is flying by! thanks for sharing. i enjoyed.........as much as i can when i'm stopping to make suggestions/comments! ! ! bri :)

    now i'll work at explaining my God's Kind Of Poetry to you, as you requested. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Robert Melliard (6/16/2014 4:53:00 AM)

    I have read four of your poems and am very impressed by you skill in using rhyme. This one touched me most however, perhaps because I have lived through a number of bereavements over the last fifteen years. You might be interested in reading my poem Loss, which deals with the death of my brother and the way I often remember him when I see other people who remind me of him in some way. Loss 2 is about another aspect of this theme. I would be grateful to have your opinion. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,623 Points * Sunprincess * (2/20/2014 6:28:00 PM)

    .......dear kanav... I LOVE this write...it speaks to me... it speaks to my HEART..... ever so softly it says the POET who wrote this is very SPECIAL... and has a TENDER HEART filled with COMPASSION and LOVE....you know something else, this is not your only write which conveys this message to me....so now you know why.. I LIKE you so much...your POETRY speaks for you...your poems tell me a lot about you as a person....and each one says YOUUU are a person who is a WONDERFUL FRIEND...and EVERYONE who has YOUUU for a FRIEND is very FORTUNATE...and something else when I see the name KANAV JUSTA at the bottom of a poem....I know it is going to be an excellent poem.....a marvelous poem....an exquisite poem...guess this is why I LOVE YOUR NAME so very much...cause you are an AWESOME POET! ! !
    XOXOXO (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 900 Points Susan Lacovara (1/18/2014 9:54:00 AM)

    I invite you to read my poems, Photographic Memory, (for my father) , and In My Mother's Hand...as I honor them everyday, since their passings. Time passes, an yet some faces forever remain, etched upon your heart. Your poem is lovely and full of sentiment. PEACE (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,708 Points Amitava Sur (1/15/2014 9:40:00 PM)

    Well description of sorrows and pains with which we have to live there is no other way.... very nice
    Though they say that time will heal But truth is- griefs will prick through out the life (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Ruby Mostazir (1/12/2014 2:58:00 AM)

    a rain that wets not our robes
    but dampens us from the soul....some lines are so much touchy
    nice poem! i will vote 10 for it. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,371 Points Lyn Paul (1/11/2014 3:46:00 AM)

    Beautiful words with an amazing ending. You can write anything Kanav and make it brilliant. Thank You (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,402 Points Dinesh Nair (1/9/2014 11:51:00 PM)

    Certain pains have no cure as long as our human concerns are not within a drafted structural orbit.
    Despite there being lot of images of pessimistic overtones, Kanav, you have ended the whole write with an optimistic note.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 112 Points Joseph Anderson (1/9/2014 1:10:00 PM)

    Some profoundly beautiful lines in this splendid poem, much imagery and compassion. You are well on your poetic journey-10 (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,010 Points Valsa George (1/8/2014 11:02:00 PM)

    some things don’t have no reason
    some things no one can explain
    when our skin longs for the sunrays
    sky greets us with endless rain

    Wonderful poem with some striking lines... perhaps one of your best! For this, you deserve a sure 10 Kanav! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 71 Points Rajesh Thankappan (1/8/2014 8:49:00 PM)

    Kanav this poem is a super six in cricketing terms. This poem has great poise and import. Unfortunately 10/10 is the ultimate score that I can give! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,525 Points Valerie Dohren (1/7/2014 12:03:00 PM)

    Beautiful poem Kanav, and those of us who are bereaved can relate to your verses. Very well done. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 104 Points Rubab Atwal (1/7/2014 8:05:00 AM)

    it is a poem that is really touching and beyond any words..you have written it with such beautiful lines and certainly in a way only a few can write...totally amazing.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 1 Points Bijay Poudel (1/7/2014 12:08:00 AM)

    is it the blowing wind to blame or a church where engraved is the cross a question that leaves us wondering how would they live with their loss... Beautifull lines. Loved the poem. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,623 Points * Sunprincess * (1/6/2014 11:28:00 PM)

    ..oh kanav your poem is one of those poems which only a few people can write.....
    it is a poem which truly touches the heart and one which makes me cry...you have
    no idea how badly the loss of my mother bothers me everyday...she was my best friend... (Report) Reply

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