Valsa George


Five Liners no.8. A Simple Whim


How I wish to scuttle alone
Over a gentle river from bank to bank
In a small boat rowed with a bamboo pole
While the seagulls fly shrieking over my head
And the clouds sail drawing queer patterns on the sky

Submitted: Monday, February 03, 2014
Edited: Monday, February 03, 2014

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Comments about this poem (Five Liners no.8. A Simple Whim by Valsa George )

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  • Freshman - 1,817 Points Bri Edwards (2/7/2014 1:40:00 PM)

    valsa, i hope you don't mean to use scuttle THIS WAY!

    1. (Nautical Terms) nautical (tr) to cause (a vessel) to sink by opening the seacocks or making holes in the bottom

    i'll send other private comments madam. :) bri thanks for sharing. i enjoyed it.
    p.s. wear a broad-brimmed hat unless you don't mind gull poop in your hair! ....to MyPoemLIst. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 931 Points Kanav Justa (2/5/2014 4:14:00 AM)

    And the clouds sail drawing queer patterns on the sky , , , ,

    looking up at the sky to see clouds change so strangely is a delight for the eyes, , , , (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,028 Points Dinesh Nair (2/4/2014 10:03:00 AM)

    A fine whim quite naturally expressed madam. But your small boat has to take you on after realising that at the sea-mouth strong currents are awaiting.
    One hopes your gentle river never rushes towards such a sea at all so that as a small sailor lost in this pleasant past time you will rejoice to no end. A good five liner with fifty pleasant ripples surfacing its gentle face. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,093 Points Geetha Jayakumar (2/3/2014 9:48:00 AM)

    Beautiful imagery of words painted in canvas. I could picturise it well. Loved the way you presented it. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,443 Points * Sunprincess * (2/3/2014 7:00:00 AM)

    .....sounds very peaceful...I wonder where you would be going...
    .it must be somewhere nice.... (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »

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