Five Finger Discount Poem by Randy Johnson

While we were shopping, you tried to steal a bracelet that was worth a lot.
But before you could get out of the store, you got caught.
They thought I was an accessory so they prosecuted me as well.
I'm mad because you got me arrested so you can go to hell.

This incident has caused me a great deal of grief.
My girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm a thief.
You may not realize it but stealing is a sin.
It will be a cold day in hell when I go shopping with you again.