Fictitious Sunrise Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

As an unknown artist I bestow my feelings in the darkness under candle light.
Painting a vigil of sadness.
Portraying absolute madness.
Coming up with a new subject everyday.
They are always at first so dull.
In till my heart starts beating a little faster.
Then they explode.
My muse does not exist.
With feeling of the deepest darkest depression.
Thoughts of slitting my wrist reach across the room and touches me in a very sickly way.
The coldness envelopes my very being.
A ghost that I so hard try to avoid.
Sometimes I feel so useless.
I can never do anything for myself.
A constant need to ask for help.
An empty ego constantly swallowing his pride.
A beggars ride.
Off into into the night my minds dreams of the better.
But still this pain will not subside.
It falls in the form of a tear dropp from my eye.
I'm a grown man who's cry's.
Rock me to sleep.
Make me feel better if you think you can.
Divulge the secrets of life that I don't I already know.
Continuously being followed by my own shadow.
He won't leave me alone.
He's everywhere I go.
I tried to lose him so many times before in a world I'm suppose to adore.
But the abandonment by everyone makes it so hard let to go.
For he's the only constant I've truly every known.
He's brings a smile upon my face.
Even if it is in distaste.
Maybe he's imaginary, but do not I care.
I need someone to tell me I'm doing just fine.
Even if it is a lie.
A fictitious sunrise.
The same sun will set soon.
Then it is back to the reality of doom and gloom.
A rain storm in the night that never lets up.
I'm always wearing this rain coat.
It never comes off.
It is always completely soaked.
A constant feeling of being wet and cold.
Completely miserable.
And no matter what I do it always seems in vain.