Felt Deep Relief 1963 Poem by Terry Collett

The sisters(nuns)
at the school
are not happy with you
Mary's father said
at dinnertime
at the table

what's she done now?
her mother said

Mary swallowed a mouthful
of stew
eyed her father

not happy with me?
she said

not at all
her father said sternly
his eyes focusing on her
like a bird of prey

I've done nothing
Mary said

don't be telling me
your lies and fables
her father said
or I'll put my hand
across your behind

her mother looked down
at her plate
and mouthed food

Mary toyed
with a fork of beef

they don't understand me
she said
when I've one
of my monthlies
my mind is off balance
and it disturbs my moods

her father's face tinged
a slight red
around his cheeks

her mother chewed
and looked
at the tablecloth pattern
of blue and white

Mary forked in
another mouthful of stew

they say you're
rude and insolent
he said
looking beyond her
at the picture
of the Sacred Heart
on the wall
above the fireplace

just trying
to get through
the darn bleeds
she said
makes me not happy
being stuck there
in the classroom
while my mind's on
a low dive and the mess
and my mind down
and them standing there
like penguins
peering at me

THAT'S ENOUGH
ABOUT THE NUNS
he said
his voice heavy
his hand tapping the table
palm down

the mother gazed at Mary
eyes fixed on her
wondering if the father'd
slap the girl's behind

Mary put on her
I'm-sorry-I'm-just-
a little-innocent-girl-gaze

I've been to confessions
and told the priest
and got absolution
so I have
she said
eyeing her father

he stared at her
sitting there
a 14 year old
with a mouth of a 18 year old
and entering that arena
of womanhood with
its weird month
and week thing

well mind your manners
and see your mother
about these week things
he said

the mother gazed at him
then at her daughter
and nodded
and ate again

he looked at his daughter
and was glad there
was only the one
and ate a mouthful
looking away
at the Christ's
pointing finger
at his Sacred Heart

Mary nodded and stared
at her plate
and mouthed
a fork of beef
sensing a danger pass
and a felt deep relief.