Felicity Flotsam Poem by Sharon Jane Lansbury

Felicity Flotsam



Felicity Flotsam is Everso Grand
Oh grander than that! I mean EVERSO grand.
Her clothes are made by Andre Gravine,
who, incidentally, makes frocks for the Queen!

The children would call her to join in their play
but Felicity Flotsam would usually say:
‘I am everso, everso grand.
Oh grander than that! I mean EVERSO grand:
My toys are made by Andre Gravine,
who, incidentally, makes toys for the Queen!

The salon would call to trim up her curls,
with short hair in fashion for sweet little girls.
However, Felicity, who was very grand,
Oh grander than that! I mean EVERSO grand,
has her hair cut by Andre Gravine,
who, incidentally, cuts hair for the Queen!

The shoe-maker came to cobble some leather
with pretty blue bows to tie it together:
‘Oh dear’ laughed Felicity, who was very grand,
Oh grander than that! I mean EVERSO grand!
“’Didn’t you know that my shoes were Gravine?
who, incidentally, makes shoes for the Queen!

A tutor was called to give her French classes.
Felicity said, ‘these are for the masses!
For being as grand as grand as me,
French is taught by Andre Gravine,
who, incidentally, Francaise with the Queen!

An Uncle from Fife brought her chocolates in boxes.
Felicity scoffed and said, ‘uncle, now what’s this?
You know that I’m grand, as grand as can be
and I only eat chocolates by Andre Gravine,
who, incidentally, makes sweets for the Queen!

Whilst skating in Winter and feeling so gay,
she fell through the ice and was carried away.
And being so grand, yes EVERSO grand,
oh grander than that! I mean EVERSO GRAND,
She would have been saved by Andre Gravine,
Who was otherwise occupied, saving the Queen!

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