Father Poem by LeighAnna Williams

Father



I know that it may seem like I'm never looking for your acceptance but I'm reaching out my hand to you & with a voice so clear I ask where have you been? with no reply from you I often do wonder what your feeling inside.
I'll never have the answers as to why you try so hard to disappear from my life.
I speak these words of truth from every child that's yours 'I'm missing you, wishing you were really here.'
your image leaves an impression on my doorstep
I think i hear you knocking but it's the wind & when a shadow comes up against the wall I
call to you but there's no answer.

no answer.

So where have you been?
did you know I've needed you?
needed you back when I was a child & need you now right here
next to my side for the times when I'm stuck or confused
or when tears form in my eyes
needed you at every step of the way
know it's never easy but where have you been?
where have you been?

Spending endless times wondering if it's my fault as to why you steer away
but I'm no idiot it isn't me, it's you inside that has lost his mind.
knew you were stubborn so I took the lead tried to establish this
but you always plead the fifth
another game just meant to smother hearts weigh heavy
I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired of this

Here I write a letter to every father ever known
a child needs you in a life that's never slow to show them the wrong ways to live & grow
mistreat them, damage their pride even I know the strongest heart struggles to live a lie
see you've grown up to know how this feature in this movie entitled life goes
for the times you've been labeled & were given shame many women threw you under neath the bus & kept their lives moving no one says goodbye.
you think a child who never had the choice of being here
is thinking oh my daddy loves me if he's never here?
I can't stand placing a naked picture within a frame
We want a home but now a days that's a role of make believe & just pretend
do you not think your actions hurt me?
do you realize or take time to run through my life in these shoes that barely fit rippin at the seams I quit
I've been chasing, breaking, every fail trying to embrace you loosens my grip
& like I've told you again & again in many versions
my quickest fold lies deep within the family
I keep on trying cause I promised I'd give my all to try & create my dream successfully reach this goal
but lately I've come to remember
it's not my place to come looking for you to be ' A Father'
either you love me & show it or learn it down the way
but know I love you, your family, your still part of me
until the day you & i decease.

So where have you been?
did you know I've needed you?
needed you back when I was a child & need you now right here
next to my side for the times when I'm stuck or confused
or when tears form in my eyes
needed you at every step of the way
know it's never easy but where have you been?
where have you been?

I am a child looking for even a little of your acceptance
I am a child longing yes to sincerely & truly be loved
I am a child who gets lost, who gets hurt
I am a child with a steady voice though sometimes it trembles because of fear
I am a child who doesn't need you to fault me
I am a child who doesn't wish to be ignored
I am a child, your child, whether i was your first, your second, your last
I am a child who wishes you'd be there throughout my struggle
If you let go of my mother should I have to lose my father?

Father... Father? .... Father? ...... hopefully one day you'll finally 'See' me.

Sincerely Love-Leigh

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