Family Dynamics And War Poem by Lonnie Hicks

Family Dynamics and War

They both saw their faces reflected in each others tears

as they dismantled the love they once knew in angry words and fears.

Their embittered regrets stood crucified along the highway of
their misunderstandings and manipulated meanings.

Their bad habits had the taint of addiction and habit, of rote reactions,
of-ice pick-in-the-eyeball harms and afflictions;

and yet:

they seldom resolved or settled issues;

instead settling for desultory, bitter truces and family feuds and family wars;

settled for steely silences,

sex and affection wars,

pitting friends against friends,

family members against family members.

They conducted secret alliances,
forced people to take sides,
seeking to put themselves in the right at all times

and each other in the wrong,

forcing kids,
neighbors,
and even mere acquaintances
into a "You are on my side or you are on their side" choice of right or wrong

And yet:

each secretly wondered why the love had shriveled

until there was only a naked drive
toward being right,
toward wanting to control and manipulate,
toward the murder of all soft feelings,
of the loss of the ability to be truthful,
of ever admitting having wronged the other

of the ability to be humble,
of incessantly seeking power over
and the utter humiliation of the other,

of gradually being blind to that was once my husband,
was my wife, my friend, my neighbor, my kids;

And yet:

worse and worse it got
until it spilled further and further out

among school acquaintances,
among friendship circles,
out among the neighborhood and churches
into small town after small town
until attitudes solidified
into the false belief
that this was the way the world was;

surrounding themselves with others similarly afflicted
who were the same

where False Truth seemed to be true everywhere

in all the relationships they sought
out others

others who had similar histories
and prejudices

and the dynamic grew

all these alikes clung together

reinforcing their illusions among themselves

and others

ejecting all others who which did not participate in
the warped view
keeping only those who needed to maintain the false vision

to keep themselves safe from Truth

a warped view which needs constant feeding
needs constant reassurance
that what they were doing to
and with others
was not destructive

was a-ok
shielding them from any notion that destroying self
family and others was totally unjustified and destructive

because True Truth needs to be defended against
because in time it will overcome Untruth every time;

because a mere glimmer of Truth
will cause a collapse of the individual psyche,
of entire groups
of whole societies

and that would be emotional chaos
be too much self revelation.

So they continued to ruin themselves and others with behavior that was deadly,
continued to build the belief
that those harmed by them deserved to be harmed
deserved to be disciplined at their hands,

that those who disagreed with them were
enemies;

that that who disagreed or sought to pull the veil from their eyes

were trying to destroy them
and must be stopped at all costs;

Now the view shifted until there are whole groups now

which fell into the hated categories,
the view evolved to the belief that that there were only two kinds of people in the world,
those like us and those not like us
and those not like us
must be stopped at all costs.



That we must launch a preemptive war
against them
before it is too late

before they come to kill all of us.