Familiar Pain Poem by Eleaxus Pettus

It had been weeks,
Months, even,
Since I’d felt the familiar blade
Slide in a familiar place
And produce a familiar colored substance.

The first time, I’d felt the familiar numb race back into my veins
As the adrenaline covered it quickly.
“That was the last time.”
I swore
Only to be corrected
In short notice.

The next night
I thought
And I thought
Until I was so tired
I couldn’t move from the position I’d been in
For the past six hours.

The next night was when it happened again.
The smooth blade ripped across the cuts from the night before.
The panic seeped through my veins as I rushed to get the alcohol pads.
My leg burned for hours after that.

Or, at least until I fell asleep,
With a bloody rag in my hand
And pain in my heart.
The pain that I hadn’t felt in months.
This was not going to be the last time.
I knew it.