Ali Adamson

EYES: White-Holes

Before you scrape
and erase their marks
when I do read
few letters stick
on your lips
How, I do flow!
in the moist layers
with conscious mind of
some other space
and within no moment
I sink in eyes...
for ages... for lives
going to die
coming to life...
When i return...
coffee is served!

Submitted: Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Edited: Friday, November 29, 2013

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Comments about this poem (EYES: White-Holes by Ali Adamson )

  • Gold Star - 5,744 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (12/25/2013 11:14:00 PM)

    Lot can happen by the time coffee is served even dwelling in some other space. Nice poem. Thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 701 Points Shahzia Batool (12/19/2013 12:25:00 PM)

    flowing, reading, sinking, dying, much (non-) action is going on in such a brief write...if a few letters can be read and understood before their apparent erasure, then certainly eyes are not merely the white-holes but a channel...i am not sure about my interpretation but it looks so to me...the coffee-serving suddenly comes as a striking of the Big Ben! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,774 Points Sallam Yassin (11/30/2013 3:11:00 PM)

    in moment u lost in magic of her eyes
    in journey of life time
    but in return your coffee was served
    hot and in time / bright (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,894 Points Bri Edwards (11/29/2013 9:22:00 PM)

    you lost me a bit until the last line. i DO understand coffee is served. is there cake with the coffee? yes? i'll be right over to join you. if you used more punctuation it MIGHT have helped me some to understand; i'm not sure if it would.
    with concious mind of... conscious? oops! an easy mistake to make!
    you invited me to read, i read, and i thank you for sharing. :) yes, the title and the last line i enjoyed.
    p.s. i loved to watch you box on tv years ago. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie P.k Freitas (11/29/2013 8:30:00 PM)

    This is simply stunning write, it just send you to world of beauty... Good work Poet (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 29,744 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (7/2/2009 6:39:00 AM)

    some other space
    and within no moment
    I sink in eyes...
    for ages... for lives
    going to die
    coming to life...
    When i return......what an imaginationfrom poet... beautiful description.. i loved it...simply 10

    read mine brown eyes (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Surayya Abbas (5/30/2009 4:26:00 AM)

    Very beautiful lines. nice to read. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,639 Points Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar (5/29/2009 1:05:00 AM)

    a good poem written with nack. shan (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (5/28/2009 4:28:00 AM)

    Do deep thoughts and cups of coffee go together? It is possible
    if two souls have achieved rapport with one another. A poem
    of awareness.10, for you.

    Warm regards,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Ejaz Khan (5/28/2009 3:43:00 AM)

    A beautiful poem, like soft music, enjoyed it, especially the ending. Keep creating!
    Regards (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shashendra Amalshan (5/28/2009 3:22:00 AM)

    nice one indeed..I liked the ending line, so refreshing....thanks 10++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Yoonoos Peerbocus (5/28/2009 12:37:00 AM)

    theme/tone..both add the poetic frame /fine to read (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Catrina Heart (5/27/2009 9:49:00 AM)

    Coffee is served.....nice and light ending line..........10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Devin ~Poetrys Lost Soul~ (5/27/2009 9:19:00 AM)

    Excellent write Ali... i really like it 10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 21 Points Priyanka Bhowmick (5/27/2009 8:07:00 AM)

    very nice composition.10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 26 Points Fiona Davidson (5/26/2009 10:10:00 AM)

    Excellent piece Ali....10++++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Noha El3wdy (5/25/2009 10:20:00 AM)

    thnx for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 963 Points Saadat Tahir (5/24/2009 10:02:00 AM)

    oh..its very very good
    thanx for the share

    its a tenner
    cheers (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 963 Points Saadat Tahir (5/24/2009 9:59:00 AM)

    oh..its very very good
    thanx for the share

    its a tenner
    cheers (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Life Is My Poem....~ (5/24/2009 2:12:00 AM)

    a beautiful work..! i like ur poems a lot........ (Report) Reply

Read all 36 comments »

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