Eternal Fix (A Vampire Story) Poem by alexandre arnau

in the dull
dusk of
winter
i sit and watch
from the alley

she washes her clothes
in the all night
laundromat
carefully folding
her items
like secrets
as unmarked
police cars
prowl

i know i have only
a few weeks
before
i must move on
to a new
hunting ground
twelve bodies
and one more
tonight
and then i will vanish
like the cigarette smoke
into the chilly air

it has been this way
for two hundred years
since i was born
into death
into a thing
i cannot explain

sometimes
i beat the hunger
back
but more often
it beats me
so i hunt
resigned to carrying
death
like a monkey
on my back

i've read about
vampires
since none
have come across
my paths
since my birth
all my knowledge
gleaned
from books
movies
shamans
and an unfortunate
voodoun
who nearly killed me
again

it's not true
you see
what they say
what i wouldn't give
to change my shape
mesmerise victims
fly
it would make my
unlife
so much easier
and while the sun
does hurt
i still have my skin
and no worse
for the wear

all i have
is the experience
of time
and training
of my body
to kill
as quickly
as possible

just once
i would love to meet
another like me
just to talk to
learn from
be with
so i knew
i wasn't alone

but it hasn't
happened yet
i doubt
it ever will
so i go on
carrying this bloody
monkey
in search of
the next fix

there

she's done
with her last load
such a long walk home
for such a mousy
little woman
i've cased her
for two weeks now
she will not be missed
no family
friends
goldfish in a bowl
nothing
to warrant
a deep investigation

walking briskly now
i swing myself up
the nearest fire escape
and run the rooftops
as close to flying
as i'll ever get
lifetimes of running
from discovery
but this running
is purely
my own

i settle
into her bedroom
and make myself
comfortable
in my latex gloves
and my soft soled shoes
my hair brushed well
and my skin scrubbed
raw
no trace of me
for authorities
to puzzle over

click

click

clack

she's in now

monkey gnawing
in my belly
and a fire ignited
behind my eyes
i smell her hair
and hear her keys jangling
on the kitchen table

my heart beats
in my throat
my muscles tense
and relax
the trick was learned
from watching cats
one blow
to the neck
and she'll be down
and i'll be fed
and out of town
before she's cold

mail
is being opened
and i wait
while she goes through
bills
ads
and chain letters
there will be no
personal contacts
and no chance
of making any

goddamn monkey
simmer down
there's time enough

never rush these things

yes

here she comes
and the only true thing
about all those
bad movies
are the teeth
they come on their own
when it's time
i don't need
to think about it

the door creaks
and the drapes
mold against me
and she walks in

there

turn to your closet
like you do every night

yes
like that

with one swift motion
i shift behind her
and deliver the blow
that will deliver me
from this eternal
addiction
one more time

and there's nothing there
but a rush of air

the hit came quick
from behind me
and i fell
with blood in my eyes
and a musical concussion
playing in my skull

no

what

i feel
centuries
of unlife
being drawn
from my body
as she straddles me
like a long lost lover
who will wait
no more

no

yes

and the last thing
i think
is how sorry
i am
for her
when i see
her horror
at the realization
of me

and how long
she must have
wanted to meet
another
like her

bye monkey

bye

yes