Ending Up Back At Start Poem by Clarence Williams

Ending up back at start

I had what was good for me in the mist of what I couldn't see.
Blind by so many things in my pass that hurt me. Instead of   releasing what was on thee inside of me,  I kept it in, for safety with built in wall and it became a painful memory that was draining the life of me. Pushing people away treating them like their were  my enemy because of the little things! ! ! ! ! but the whole time it really wasn't them it was me! ! ! being mean! Acted in away that showed them I'm a bully, i didn't care, i didn't want to talk, I'm  over it! ! !  so that they could leave! ! ! and i can say to myself it was all an act they never did love me. I created reaction because I'm  custom to battles, and fights! !  Then they still stayed and thought they had to be crazy! ! ! Or weird  That made me secretly happy! ! ! but I was the cause, even if they choose leave I was the one to blame! ! !  pointing the finger at them  wheres three pointing back at me. You see I was on get back terms  because i'm hurting! ! ! Selfishly I had to protect myself, I had to block those individual and keep them at  a distance! so I can see something, feel something, in them that can be a broken consistency! ! ! and in thee  end nothing! ! ! !  Being Depress became easy! ! ! sad became thee opposed of joy!  drinking became the key of me copping thur but headed nowhere! ! ! but I have my buddy's 
And they have me! ! ! ! And  just may be  deep in their hearts they feel sorry for  me because with any relationship I 
Always  end up back at start! ! with know body but them! !