Emotional Pains Poem by Masa MbathaOpasha

EMOTIONAL PAINS


I pronounced love at ten,
sang my heart out at fifteen,
became a father at sixteen
…emotional pains too big for a boy!
At eighteen, a first revelation,
a burning desire of originality
Things, words, vision and life
…emotional pains too deep for a young man!
At twenty one, the journey around the world
Fascinating encounters
A labyrinth of fame and fortune
…emotional pains vibrating with joy!
At twenty four, tears of death for my son
A strange enchanting sorrow
Creator of authentic awareness
…emotional pains for me to understand
At twenty eight, a Zulu house memory destroyed
A mist clouding in Rome, culturally irrelevant laws
Rhetoric questions, deep waters approaching
Emotional pains of self betrayal, self enslaved!
At thirty five, a Gospel Prince Opera free
“All beauty will disappear”, a cheap slogan on his face
No regrets, no shame, no anger smoke on the horizon
Emotional pains with ecstatic sweat from happiness!
At thirty six, wonderful old Russian days in the Ukraine,
Golden nights at Kiev and Odessa, Queen Margaret’s dream
Gentle human animals crossing the Black sea
Emotional pains that cannot be explained!
At forty, a time for revision, worthless hours,
Amazed and wonderfully amazing
Brief illusions or moments of calm,
Emotional pains wiser than King Solomon
At forty two, large hopes channeled into a landscape:
Marriage, a poetic vanity,
the beautiful banality of daily living
Emotional pains stealing words and dreams!
At forty five, sorrows like closed rooms,
A huge weariness, certain voices queer and strange,
A destiny clearly misunderstood,
Emotional pains of a forgotten soul, a gospel misspelled!
At forty seven, a time for emotional review,
A memory count of the dear ones no longer there,
Grandparents, mummy and daddy,
uncles, cousins, darling sisters,
Great brothers, the most wonderful nieces and nephews…
Emotional pains beyond any comment!
At fifty, perfect patience, a grand look at what has been,
A narrow focus on what will be
One astonishing instant, an image of our existence
Emotional pains bigger than the universe!
Over fifty, an hour of gratefulness,
Rare, pure and precious imagination,
Sensations too good even for eternity!
The fire of youth fully consumed,
Every second an abundant miracle,
The destiny significantly slowing down,
The life lived can be lived no more
Numbed emotional pains now similar to joy!