Emblem Poem by Andrus Cassian

Here, another page in her book
another page for her masterpiece
a collage of all the memoirs, the monologues, the stories
every single one in her name
the words I pasted together to form a conclusion
an abstract art to her auburn beauty
It's been years yet she still strikes my heart like a burning sun
and in her eyes, under her presence
I'm still reminiscent
an ant under precious species control impossibility
falling prey to the attractive qualities of a busy bee
like we just met all over again
and I'm excited, nervous, afraid, anxious
a first date for the first time
She, still a Scarlett emblem covered in Jade
hasn't changed
she, still a symbol of who she really knows me to be
a reminder, a reminder I ignore
or is it we that ignore each other
canceling out our own effects
until at last we see each other
the very reason I couldn't function
function last I saw her
I couldn't, wasn't able to say in her presence
...Do you miss me too
I feel it, I feel it drastically
what I've neglected for a month to feel
I feel it and I just want to scream
She was beauty
for months
she was that beauty I could attain
I had in my grasp
a flower no less
a living constellation in my presence
for she brightened the people around her
and in my arms I had her
in my arms, she was delicate
and everytime I held her
I didn't care who saw
I was bold enough to touch
what, her cheek she dared to tell me not to touch
though her eyes tell the story of she loved me without a sound
and I feel it drastically
I love her
and dread the days I know I will forever be out of her presence
I know I'm not without mementos
I know I'm not without her gaze
since she's a call away
she's just a call away
yet it's the only fact that
she can only exist in calls and images in my head
she can perceives alive in my universe
I was 17 and young when I met her
I was engulfed in misery
engulfed with ambition to be somewhat happy
She was my prescription pill to get me through
She means the world to me
she turned my chaotic universe
briefly back into an oyster
she the pearl
a mermaid unable to be caught
a diamond unable to be contained
Scarlett Jade she started
Scarlett Jade she remains
while I'm falling short distances
just to tell her what I couldn't
before I closed my eyes for the night
I love...I miss...
you...
another day late
and I'd fall back ti three