Ecstasis Poem by Katerina Val

Catfish
she's drown in a lake
Goldfish
drunk in golden yellow waters
shrunk
In the depths of your drama
you prayed to regret your sins to Dalai Lama

I'll fight your drama
but you' ll promise that
you'll bring to me an insulting big black trauma
with blessed red blood, I'll fix your karma
and when our lives are not good enough
when our lines become too desperate to stop
I give in, my heart is a golden fish

I give it up

Big blue eyes
or red
or dark
They caught me as I ran
They demeaned me as I drowned
They killed me as I ran
and I still run
my head is full of run
I die in the run
I'll dry in the run
but I still breathe in the run
I slip and lose my head
and still the night has yet to come

I give it up

And as I laugh
they say it's not enough
I said too much
look! -there's an elephant
do you see the run?
hey, tall yellow giraffe
hold me in your golden arms
carry me in your heart
they said it's not enough
for them it's never enough.

for them my decadence is never enough