Dumb Cop Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Tonight I drink, if only for one reason.
I drown not sorrow but the years that have slipped by.
The cop who wrote the ticket said: 'This silly season
means to feel high is quite okay but drive and do not fly! '
'Blow in this tube my friend, you look down under,
past ohpointfive will ruin your day and then some more,
I'll throw the book at you with lightning and with thunder,
you'll be surprised at what we have in store.'
'Now blow again', a disappointed cop announced,
he dropped his gadget on the pavement where it bounced.
'You ain't been drinking sir, you are unique.
Are you a saint, a monk or just a freak? '
He was in shock while I was calculating figures,
eight grams per hour this old liver does.
In silly season with those party rigors
you give some leeway then, glad that zilch it was.

But wait I'll tell you what the copper missed,
his giant speedo showed a ninety-two,
where sixty was the limit, 'less you're pissed.
He said 'the world needs no more drivers just like you'.

If all the people in their cars obeyed the rules
and never speed or misbehave in other ways,
you'd have an anarchy where all the cops be fools,
and think of revenue and play with radar rays.

'So off you go now, sir you didn't break no law',
I slipped the clutch right then and thundered down the highway.
In this encounter one could find a single flaw,
I'm going home now, have a beer and think of my way.