Drunken Life Poem by Sylvia Chidi

Drunken Life
I wake up on a Sunday Morning
To the sound of cars horning
Smelling of booze
And a particular ooze

No wash, no breakfast, no amount of food
Can put me in my desired frame of mood
All dressed
From yesterdays mess
I am ready to visit my favourite spot
This is where I once fought

A pub with loads of alcohol
Where I can stand up all mighty and tall
Six pints of lager
And I stagger
But hold on it is not yet over
For I am in Dover in my Rover
Prepared for a sleepover from any type of hangover

I am now boarding a ferry
As I am high and merry
To Calais a land of gold
For the old and bold so I am told
I am hoping to smuggle without a fine
6 cartons of cigarettes and 6 cartons of wine

This is the life of a sadistic drunk
It’s quite a contrast from that of a monk

6 shots of spirits
And I am ready to vomit
So I sit while I take out my kit
A special small emergency bucket
So I can pour out my juices like a rocket

People in the city
Look at me and feel pity
As I beg for change
What a shame at my age
I still want more
For this body is hardcore

This is the life of a sadistic drunk
It’s quite a contrast from that of a monk

With a bottle of beer in one hand
I wave it around like a magic wand
My head is spinning
I am no longer winning
I slumber to the street
My body has given up in defeat

This is the life of a sadistic drunk
It’s quite a contrast from that of a monk

I find myself waking up in a cell
Just as I dreamt that I fell
It is cold and freezing as hell
From my face you can easily tell

A policeman says to me
By the way I forgot to mention
Six more cautions
And you will spend the entire winter season
In one of the worst prisons

Please I say, I will not do it again
I may be stupid but I am definitely not insane
I am immediately released
As if infectiously diseased

Outside I think of some gin and tonic
And start to begin to feel quite erotic
Stop I say for today
I need to take a break
For my life is at stake

This is the life of a sadistic drunk
It’s quite a contrast from that of a monk

© Sylvia Chidi- 17 October 2005