Drunk On A Train Poem by Philippa Lane

Drunk On A Train

Rating: 4.0


He staggered
from the bistro
and at a glance
he looked for all the world
the usual sort of drunk
who guzzled down
a lot of bottled beer

But though his shirt
was crumpled
his tie was very straight
and so I wasn't sure

Toppling on a tightrope
of feigned sobriety
he veered down
where sandwiched
between the baits and jibes
this tired old goat
belched forth at ease
his malted breaths
dangling in the awkward air

Before they closed
in his besotted eyes
I thought I glimpsed
a tragedy
and
wondered
if his wife had died

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Herbert Nehrlich1 27 February 2005

THank you. Very nice. Where, may I ask did you come from? H

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Scarborough Gypsy 24 March 2005

Yes, I liked this very much too Philippa. Loved the ending. Lovely rendition of an observation. You may want to amend line 8 (when you have a minute) from thought to though. regards G

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Mary Fletcher 23 April 2018

I like this, compassionate and a surprise ending.

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Anna Russell 16 March 2007

Wonderfully observed and very rhythmic - and that last line is so powerful in its simplicity. Hugs Anna xxx

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Jerry Hughes 28 February 2007

...observation at its very best

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Phillip Sawatzky 18 April 2006

Dear Philippa, And yes, I know that man, and he was me, and yes, my wife had just died, that is true. Very strong poem-what is behind someone we think of as the usual sort of drunk. so many stories, and I stand at the edge of this one, and wipe away tears. Phillip

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Max Reif 16 July 2005

This is good too. Nothing I've read of yours so far is at all trivial or inconsequential. Your timing is good, too.

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Philippa Lane

Philippa Lane

Chichester, West Sussex, England
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