Drowned (Oldoldold) Poem by Shelby Barker

Lungs hot, chest tight.
What has become of me?
Everything now is about only
comparing back then, yesterday, to now, the future.
The Old Me,
The New Me.
Is there really such a difference?

Grasping onto nothing,
Searching for light./Is this truly my fate?
It used to be so easy,
just wading in still waters,
oblivious to the danger of being dragged down.
A new world discovered,
almost better than reality.
Was that ever possible?

Desperately reaching up, trying to break the surface.
Is it still an option?
It’s as if I,
once completely normal,
have been chosen to stand for all I have;
for family and friends in need, I once thought.
But now I realize their suffering
is just my mistakes and faults which I cannot fix.
Are these traits fatal?

Finally sinking to the bottom,
the body’s filled with hate.
Maybe next time…
It would be safer to know how to swim.