Down The Barrell Poem by Rowdy Solomon

...^...^...^ (Heartbeat)
How did I get to this point?
As I stare down this barrel
As life flashes before me like a story
Or one of Jesus' parables.
They say life is a gamble; I bet for more than I had though
I bit off more than I can chew, and saddled more than I can handle.
So I ride this bull of life
Holding onto its reins as it rains tonight,
Not thinking twice in the fast lane of the one who reigns and gave me life,
How did I end up on this route?
Selling drugs and making enemies,
Not just everyone around me
But the biggest one is the 'inner me'
My flesh is happy, but my spirit is quinching deep,
Thirsting for a positive life, so even my spirit isn't even friends with me!
As tears run from my face, I think about the disgrace,
That I have become from what I've done,
And now there's nowhere to run.
Is it too late to applogize?
To the people who prophesized,
That if I don't fix my life, and make it right
I will surely die?
Early from earthy dirt cheap fantasies
I am sad to see that I did not listen
To the visions that Pastor sees
So I continued to run the streets,
Instead of making good money, I wanted hood money,
Because this money was quick money,
dumb me...
How could I put 'cents' before 'sense'
So 'since' I put 'cents' before 'sense'
A hitman was 'sent'
To take the one thing
That I never really thought about,
Living it in the fast lane, and never once even talked about,
my life...
But now that it is playing before me like a movie
I see all of the scenes in which the devil used me,
excuse me...
I should have listened to grandma & mama
Before I started in this drama and caused all of this trauma
They are the ones that really hurt,
When I do not come home,
Staying out all night, which they did not condone,
so I was kicked out of the house,
Since I thought I was grown,
Boy was I wrong...
My nights are short, and the days are long,
Now I'm standing here in this alley, gasping for air
Wathching this 44 Magnum as down the barrel I stare,
I have reached wit's end now,
As I say this prayer,
In the confines of my mind,
As I listen to my slayer...
'Get on your knees' 'Look at me'
As he cocks the gun back
I watched the revolver spin around
Then I watched it as it spun back
The hour had come,
I was about to get annihilated
I zoned in on the barrel,
As my pupils dilated,
He pulled on the trigger,
And as I thought I was hit
And that was it....
I found out either he can't shoot or he missed!
Immediately I hear sirens,
And the blue lights revived me,
As I gave the Lord the Lord a dance
Thanking Him for another chance...