Dogtime Poem by Ted Sheridan

In all honesty I don’t get along with many people
Especially those who measure time in dog years
Or those who name their cats after cartoon characters
I try to avoid without conflict people who are constantly happy
Because I’m not and I don’t wish to spoil my good mood
I don’t like to eat out in restaurants because most don’t serve lamb
And I like lamb, tender young lamb, with mint jelly
You go into an eatery and ask for lamb and you could be arrested
In all honesty I get pissed off when someone rings my doorbell
Because I know it is a Jehovah witness trying to convert me
And I was converted when I was eleven by a prostitute with an STD
I like war and I don’t say that just to be controversial
I prefer peace but without war there would be no peace
People get bored with peace and they start measuring time in dog years
And before you know it in the blink of an eye everything is old
Even peace…
In all honesty I don’t get along with many people
But old hound dogs and exotic birds seem to love me

2007 © T Sheridan