Do You Think I Am A Doll - Poem by Nur Meiyati
I used to be a curious girl and I am still today.
My curiosity took me to join a dating site where I was invited by a friend of mine.
I uploaded three photos that I thought the best of me.
A man greeted me with his first hello.
We introduced each other about who he is and who I am.
'What is your Skype or Yahoo Messenger name? '
I told him that I didn't have any and I didn't think it was necessary.
Ok, so we just talked and chatted with texts only.
Then he urged me to make an account and download YM or Skype.
He wanted to see my face and how I looked like.
I let him do it just to let him know that I was not fake.
It felt great to see someone from thousands of kilometers away from my place.
He looked young and handsome at his thirty.
He seduced me by telling me that I was pretty and sexy.
I like you very much.
Can you stand up, please?
Curious, I did that for him.
I want to see you to make me feel you.
Can you show me your 'b', please?
What? ? ? ? ?
In another time, a middle aged man introduced himself as a married man.
Good, so he would not be interested in another woman, I thought.
He must have enough sex and it means it's safe to talk with him.
Then we talked, we chatted on line everyday.
Honestly it was fun to be with him.
He is smart, well informed, and has a good sense of humor.
But not long after that he said he wanted to see me in Skype.
And he actually asked me things as I suspected.
I already had some sentences in my pocket of anticipation
What kind of sentences I would have from dating site men in communication:
Send me photos of your 'b' and 'p'.
You look so young and sexy.
Can I see you in the camera, please?
It is nice to see your face.
Can you stand up and turn around?
Oh, oh....do they think I am a doll or a mannequin
Asking me to show them this and that?
Do they think I am a primate commonly used in a circus
Asking me to perform a show to please their eyes and imagination?
“I love you” becomes a commodity that falls to inflation.
I don't judge them as good or bad.
It does not mean that I don't like men or sex or I can't be hot.
Only I don't feel comfortable with that.
To do self service that I don't feel fine.
Or is it me who is not normal and too naïve?
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