Do You Know? Poem by Jocelynn Halbauer

Do you know how I feel?
Do you really?
You tell me to calm down.
You say its no big deal.
He wanted it.
He asked.
You say don't blame yourself.
You say you understand
But do you?
Did you see his eyes?
The wisdom and sorrow of 86 years amongst the steel blue?
Did you see what was hidden behind his back?
Did you feel what he put in your hands?
Did you shiver at the touch of the cold metal?
Did you listen to him beg?
Where you there to see him cry?
Did you give in?
Think that its for the best?
Did you aim it at his life?
Did you blow his life away?
Did you feel the jerk and hear the blast?
Did your eleven somewhat innocent years blast away with his life?
Did you kneel in the essence that was sprayed along the walls and floors?
Did you cry and hold his body next to yours?
Did you feel the chilling flesh?
Did you clean away the mess?
Did you hide it all away?
As it ate apart your soul?
Do you really know?
Do you really?
Because if you do
Let me say
Your strong to think the way you do
And I envy you in every way