Distracted In This Dunya Poem by Aisha Evans

I hurt myself
I cant blame anybody but myself
I sacrafice myself to this world
I dont take heed to the reminder
Im worser then the blind follower
When will this end im living in a dellusion
I need a resolution
One has already been revealed
Still i prevail against any good
Its like my soul is inclined to evil
Im in deeper than i ever thought i would be
Never thought this would be me
Shaytawn had me thinking he couldn't touch me
He decieved me
Like he deceived thee father
We're all children of adam why did i think i was higher
My grandmom always said, ' the devil was a liar.'
Still i fall to his whispers and follow my desires
I ruin myself
Im bad for my health
I can kill my own soul i dont need nobody's help
Its been dark and cold and still i survive
Then i start to think there's a reason im alive
It hurts so bad even worst on the inside
When i think how i decived myself
I fell for this dunya its glamour its wealth
What a fatal crush
A deadly love
How could i love it when it never loved me back
Almost shattered my soul
Tried my best to keep it intact
I need a redemption
Its never to late to change
If i die today tommorow i gotta take the blame
I just pray now that im forgiven for my many sins
Im done flirting with this dunya
My life is soon to end
I know i play pretend like this life last forever
But one day we gonna be judged and have to line up together
To answer to a higher authority
I've never feared nothing more like i fear thee
I hope and pray my good out weighs my bad
Maybe im hard on myself and thats why i get so sad
I just feel so weak
This life gets harder every week
Not knowing when i might die got me scared to sleep
I need to retreat
Wake up from this world and get back on my feet
Its like I already failed before I speak
My lord please forgive me these words I repeat
My soul I need to seek
This devilish spell I can defeat
He be on a mission that only leads to the fire
I need my lords mercy.
Question is am I worthy
Im dead before death
A walking zombie
I need to wake up
Restore my trust in thee
Open my eyes
Before I was blind
I just pray I snap outta this at the rite time
don’t leave me to myself o my lord I need your help
Alone ill go outta my mind send me some soilders to stand by my side
Just give me some time before I lay down my burden
The future is unclear but death is certain.
The angel awaits to stop the show and dropp the curtain
I think about ur punishment and those who will receive it
I reflect on my life and cant be sure im not in need of it.
((end))