Dilemma? Poem by Catherine Adedipe

I behold him
He beholds me
I wonder
Could we ever be?

Staring into his eyes
What mystery that lies beneath
He gazes at me
Like he has found missing treasure

Hesitations arise
Because from experience
Love chooses who she should love
And I was definitely not one

Still,
He looks at me
like i am beauty rare
like i am diamond shining
like i am rose delicate

One part of me
wishing never to let him slip
another part,
not ready to be whisked by deceit

As i drift into thoughts
I get more confused
I talk to him
It all goes away
but for a second

Dilemma it is?
could he heal my love-wounded heart?
could he hold me right?
would he stay?

For surely
I need that warmth
I need that serenity
I need to be loved
I need that someone

I search my honest inner
Do i love him
or am I curious?
Do I need him
Or am i needing?

In the midst
of my somewhat dilemma
Incontestable is one
My heart longs for his

Hence,
as my confusion lasts
as my withdrawal persists
as my heart aches
I am certain of some

I love him
I need him
I concur
If false
I dare to risk!

I drift
kissing me softly
holding me delicately
telling me love so real
meaning every word

smiling at me
hugging me warmly
He giggles, i tremble
I long to remain in him

I awake
Reality sets in
I'm by myself

Someone stop me!
someone help me!
Misery kills
A tear falls

We engage in words
I drift once more
My countenance changes
He feels it!

He asks me
my dear, what's wrong?
I become speechless
I am crying, that's what's wrong

Why am I crying?
Too many emotions

It could be
I'm being me
The sensitive me
It could be
I so need him

Putting an end to the dilemma
of refusing love and paying for it
or accepting love and i am deceived once more

I make up my mind
i get my acts together
I must be strong
because,
If love is here to stay
I would go for it
all the way!

I Behold Him
He Beholds Me
Now Confident,
We Would Ever Be!

July 2007