After all that time, she finally realised it; the voices in her head were tearing her soul apart. So, she tried not to cry; she tried to turn her head away and go. But she could not just simply proclaim her rejection and fade in thin air. The bounds between them were too tight now. The voices grinning a terrible smile, tell her not to go. They tell her to love the world, for it soon will be all hers. Alas, she knows it is all a big lie. The voices have covered her being, just like the snow wraps with a white mantle all the place and makes everything immobile and silent…
The feelings in her soul have departed. They have gone too far in the dark distant, horizon. How much she wishes she could follow them, but it is too late now.
The music pummels in her ears and turns her little world upside down, while the voices smile their appalling smile and draw near and near. They harden the air and bring delirium around. And as she feels drugged by their poisonous breath, she wants to scream on top of her lungs. She wants to bite in their cold, white flesh; to poke their eyes from their empty eye-sockets; to tear their sick smirk out of their lipless mouths…
A white, wounded dove descends from the ethereal heavens and its silhouette zooms in, in front of her. Its eyes are filled with crystal tears. 'My love, it's time! ' echo the words in the air, and she feels so calm. A beautiful sound enfolds the place, and it even obscures the screeches of the voice's voice. And the pain becomes more smooth, less dense, and yet more cathartic than ever. She tears open her chest and reaches for her thumping heart. A delicate thrust tickles her fingers, as she holds the heart in her hands. What a mesmerising sight! ! No pain, no blood, no darkness; just a soothing silence and a warm, heavenly gleam…
Those ghastly voices were no longer there; their dreadful smile was no longer threatening and sickening. Her soul was as light as dream and her feeling peaceful, as angels are.
She let go of herself, and she was freer than ever!
Besa Dede's Other Poems
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