Deep Feeling Poem by Molay Toufik

it is simple and to the point but in my opinion, i thought it could have, should have been longer. it ended too abruptly.i like the way the words blend though.

Too straight to the point you need to put more metaphors for it to taste better

9 outtta 10 my friend tooooooo short, but very straight forward. I'd like to see more similes or metaphors. I LOVE SIMILES

I ll look the fool do you mean... (I ll be like a fool.. or I ll look like a fool) I guess I ll be the fool, or a fool...would sound better 2- no one lives without a soul or his soul.. 3-try to be more oblique I am nt a critic but this is what I think

Words from the heart cross all boundries. Great poem Molay

You're a very good poet. This poem is pretty good. Keep up the good work.

english may not be your first language; but man you're GOOD! keep writing!

Wow, Toufik, this one is very good as well. Very nice, full of feeling. Wonderful!

I think if you improve on your English a little more, your poems will captivate the reader like you intend. Wonderful thoughts here. Well done!

Much better English than the previous one. The feeling I got from reading it, was that it could be a little bit longer. I really liked the theme, but it ends a little too abruptly. Otherwise, it runs very well. Just needs to have more development of the theme, or in simple language, make it a longer. Keep writing :)