Deceivable Victim Poem by Andrus Cassian

Deceivable Victim



Liar
How dare you condemn my name to such foul involvement?
Liar
Do you know how much that set my insides ablaze with rage?
Who was there for you since day one?
Who did you always run to when you were so called in love
While the one you were with was forever living in lust?
You always ask how I feel; always ask how I feel about you
Always ask if I think we’d be together, always ask if we’d ever be or do anything
If I shut my eyes, will the questions cease?
If I shut my eyes, will you disappear from in front of me?
If I shut my eyes, will you finally close your mouth?
I’m so sick, so sick of all these irrelevant questions
I’m so sick, so sick of having the same God awful talk
We’ve reached countless conclusions, said so many things
But plans change like days turn into night
Like the sunshine can turn into a gloomy cloud-encompassing day
You keep condemning me to the other side
The side I despise
You keep playing the victim, the innocent little victim
Like you’re the only little thing important in my life
How dare you, the audacity you possess
You hold our friendship in the balance over a petty resistance, petty defiance
A failure to utter a simple phrase
One I don’t have to mention in order to keep your attention
The blame, how does it always befall me
The fault, how does it always become directed at me
It takes two to act, to react
Whatever, I don’t know why I ever bother to care
Repetitive fashion, I fall flat upon my face
Like I have suddenly tripped over my shoelace
I believe life has finally fallen out of favor with me
I believe, I believe life has finally fallen out of love with me
Or this may still be a love/hate relationship
Its jealousy sounding once I proceed to seek a genuine smile spread across my face
Horrific I guess my face must be to have a simple wish sliced so coldly like fresh fruit
Where is the care: extinct
Just like my sympathy which has drained from me like much needed sleep
The more I tell myself I don’t care
The more I believe it to be so
I’m just so sick, so sick of it all
I’m just tired and restless
Sing me a lullaby
And let me dream of something blissfully peaceful
For once in my pathetic life

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