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Bri Edwards

Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Death: I Brought Tears To Her Eyes..... [Cutting My Life 'Short'; Marriage-Matters; Personal (But You Can Read It) ]


I’ve got what many consider a strange outlook on life,
and not many think it stranger than.......does my dear wife.
At age sixty-five, by many, I’m not considered yet “old”,
but I say I’ve lived long enough! I believe it, and NOW you’ve been told.

I HAVE NO IMMEDIATE PLANS TO DASH OFF AND......KILL MYSELF,
but at times I feel it’s time to leave Life’s oft’ dreary shelf.
And the longer I keep living, I believe the chance becomes 'better'...
that I’ll end up in a rocker all day, covered with a shawl or a sweater.

Oh, if in a rocker I still had my senses and could get to the john,
if I could feed myself and still call siblings (Birdie, Tom, Terry, and Don) ,
if no Herculean efforts or expenses were needed to keep me alive and sane,
AND if the rest of mankind were in “good shape”......I might say “Let me do it again! ”

But few depend on me now, and those who do could survive.....
if my “clock” were to stop ticking, and no headway was made to revive.
So when I recently mentioned my “outlook” again to my wife, to my great surprise,.....
(though she chided me with harsh words) .....I saw tears in her eyes.

(February 28,2014)

Submitted: Saturday, March 01, 2014
Edited: Thursday, March 06, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

this is true! first she said 'go ahead and kill yourself' or 'go away from me if that is your outlook on life'.........something like that, BUT then i saw the tears. not many. it WAS a surprise, but after a moment it didn't surprise me so much and it kind of impressed me. women! :)

in 2nd stanza, third line, i at first used 'better' at the end. then i changed it to 'greater', because i thought 'greater' more closely said what i wanted to say. THEN i noticed that it hurt the rhymn with 'sweater' so i went back to 'better'. which do you think is better, i wonder. it is staying 'better', no matter WHAT you think! ha ha.

Comments about this poem (Death: I Brought Tears To Her Eyes..... [Cutting My Life 'Short'; Marriage-Matters; Personal (But You Can Read It) ] by Bri Edwards )

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  • Gold Star - 12,167 Points Valsa George (5/20/2014 7:17:00 AM)

    I loved reading this poem.... there is a mix of pathos and humour...... I feel that your wife's response is so natural...... First chiding and then sobbing....! I imagine you sitting on a rocker, covered in a shawl and sweater....! It is the inevitable eventuality of life.... If we are alert and can take care of ourselves, what is the harm in becoming an octogenarian? (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 14,444 Points John Westlake (3/30/2014 5:14:00 PM)

    Sir, you can't die yet. It's not your time. At least your wife seems to agree. If someone said to you, that you should die, stuff them. They are not worth spit (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,035 Points Kanav Justa (3/2/2014 11:17:00 PM)

    the last stanza is a beautiful one, , , you ended this poem on a positive note, , , , , and i am glad she scolded you, , , else you would not listen, , , : P (Report) Reply

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