Dear Mom And Dad Poem by Liera Bloodheart

I looked at the note and i tried not to cry for i knew when i was writing that note a piece of me died,
It was that night that i believed all your lies and all the words that you said, that i was always messing up everything,
I was such a miracle turned into a nightmare you would said, so i curled in the corner and burred my head, and it was your voice repeating repeating repeating im my head,
and it was that night that i cried myself to sleep with my arms wrapped around the pillow pretending it was someone who cared about my tears, about my pain, about my fears,
Cuse you never cared! you never asked me how did i feel about this or about that, you never cared about my emotions or about my Ideas, All you cared about was your business, the house, you or your boyfriend who called himself my father though he know how much pain it caused me,
And dear mom do you remember when i was so sad and depressed you just told me i was acting out and you got me some pills,
O how i wished i was just acting and hoped it was a dream but reality hits me o so hard, and when it did it was always pretty bad, What drives a child to give up everything they have?
What makes a person think that? what makes a mothers daughter think that death is better than tomorrow,
I never told you i tried to kill myself but i did, you remember when we lived in Virginia do you remember that ditch? It took me everything I had not to jump off that bridge,
THIS IS NOT A LIFE WORTH LIVING! ! ! Mom, Dad, Family, Friends if you don't ever see me again I hope you live your life happily, And mom im sorry that the last time we talked we fought, Im just so sick of trying to be somebody im not, And year down the line when im all but forgotten I just want you to know your were my last thought,
As i finished the note before i get up to go, And mom im sorry i kept all this pain inside cuse i know it will hurt you the most, when i breath my last i will prey you can forget your past in all of this, and try not to blame yourself,
I loved you so very very very much, mom im getting better and im writing happier things i know you never understand this but im attached to the sad things,
Cuse i know theirs a little healing in our sufferings, O mom its all because of you that my mind is so messed up, Its because of you that for so many nights i cried myself to sleep whispering 'Ive done nothing g but messed up', How could you have been so mean i was just a little girl so scared and confused, just wanting someone to tell me everything was alright, so tare me to pieces my sweet suicide, its all because of your a piece of me died.