Days End Poem by Vallerie Lobell

here i am again...trying to hold back tears,
was busy all day and not thinking,
but now at day's end my head is hung,
it goes down as the sun is sinking,


the wheels start slowly turning in my head,
then faster, this Ferris Wheel of my mind,
the past, the memories, good and bad,
they won't go away, no peace will I find,

again there'll be no sleep, no rest,
no way to stop and no end in sight,
fast forward only speed they go,
can't seem to find a red stoplight,

reading cannot stem the flow,
and when I try to close my eyes,
it only makes things worse,
thats when the flashbacks arise,

my son gone now these five years,
I remember him so well,
cutting up at the marina,
laughed so much in the water I almost fell,

My sister also has left me behind,
she too was so much fun,
us catching crawfish with our hands,
then another coffee run,

i try to shut it off cause it hurts,
have to get the boys up in the morning,
even if I manage to doze off,
my eyes pop back open with visions forming,

it is a vicious cycle that I am caught up in,
the only thing good, I give myself advice,
as I seek a reason to go on,
thank God you cannot lose them twice,