Daniel Boone Motel Poem by Kevin Scanlon

Checked into the Daniel Boone Motel in Pikeville, Kentucky, while
Traveling alone and stretched my limbs which were pretty cramped
'Elbow room! ' as Dan'l would say, what a nice respite from psycho
Drivers and zoning out and now my bodymind can get revamped.

Such a wonderful weariness and eagerness to be in my room shortly
And turn the air conditioner on max and plop down on a nice bed
With the TV on and the icky comforter tossed into a corner, though it's
Not nearly as nasty as the situations that could have left ole Dan'l dead.

It's de rigueur that there be a shaky broken floor lamp and generic
Art prints on the walls, but that's okay, this here place got chosen
Because it says it has 'en suite bathrooms, ' since this is hillbilly country
It's great that an outhouse is unnecessary, Dan'l would find it ambrosian.

Got 'bewildered but not lost' as the 'Great Pathfinder' Dan'l would say,
Blazing a trail to my room with directions from the idiot desk clerk
Finally, as luggage was lifted over the threshold there was a smell of
Smoke in this allegedly smoke-free room, thanks to a thoughtless jerk.

Of course, thousands of people's microbial clouds have rained on the
Chipped furniture and old carpet over the years along with contact DNA
Such as that on this Budweiser freshly plucked like a ripe fruit from off
Its plastic ring, I've no pocket flask like Dan'l had to keep stress at bay.

Need to cut each of the six plastic rings before trashing so they don't
Strangle a poor bird or fish someday, not drinking the water since it
Tastes a bit like paint thinner, perhaps due to fracking or mountaintop
Removal mining, in Dan'l's day it was fresh and pure as a virgin's spit.

Pikeville is 'The City That Moves Mountains' after all, or at least part
Of them, decades ago they even cut through a huge mountain for over
Seventeen million dollars, Dan'l would be amazed, above and beyond
Having cities, counties and motels named for him, a humble land rover.

After relaxing awhile I called the front desk to ask for the WiFi code and
The guy got pissed when I asked him to repeat it, then drove through
A Steak 'n Shake and got a gourmet steakburger that tasted just like
McDonald's, but glad I don't have to field dress game like Dan'l had to.

Spent the afternoon at Bob Amos Park hiking some absolutely gorgeous
Appalachian nature trails, even saw an inaccessible ancient beech tree
With what looked like an old carving on it, at about the right height and
Widened due to tree growth, did it read 'D. Boon Kilt a Bar,1803? '

That night I took a few shots at a local bar myself, where I went to
Explore the social frontier and get the latest sports results as well
Chatted up a fair texting maiden there, when a guy wearing buckskins,
Perhaps a drunken descendant of Dan'l's, shoved me and gave me hell.

In bed adjusting to the lumpy mattress I heard the familiar motel mix of
Highway traffic droning and muffled voices near and far, but luckily no
Rhythmic pounding on the wall and Dan'l had it much worse, sleeping
On open ground under threat from man and beast and wind and snow.

The curtains were like Plato's Cave with the shadows of passing strangers
Projected on it, and the air conditioner rumbling was soothing white noise
In the darkness, I dreamed that Dan'l took a selfie at the Cumberland Gap
And tripped over a settler's dog without ever losing his pioneer poise.

It's a new day and the 'Bluegrass State' is in my rear view mirror, the
Drug dealers in the motel parking lot and the maid who ignored my DND
Sign are in the past, so glad that unlike Dan'l I didn't go deep indebt
Through failed Kentucky land speculation and have to flee to Missouri
Today the whole world's a priceless wilderness of hope and fear and fury.