Damaged Little Girl Poem by mona martinez

my feelings feel so wrong,
i just don't know what right anymore,
the worse the pain ever gotten,
feels like getting back into bad habits,
but the good news is i'm not numb,
if i was numb,
i don't even think i would think twice,
about making this pain go away,
it would already be done,
and feeling guilty the next day,
because i took it out on my body,
i hate my body,
some days i want nothing to do with it,
other days i am okay with it,
slowly starting to accept my body,
rather than take my anger out on it,
i'm learning to direct my anger,
at who it should of been directed to,
all of these years,
but believing the lies i was told,
i thought it was my fault,
that i had done something,
without knowing,
i didn't make the mistake,
you did when you took it too far,
you made it a game,
pretending the touches was accidental,
when you knew the whole time what you were doing,
making jokes about my body,
telling me what you liked,
it the reason i have a hard time,
when guys would starr at me,
i didn't like it,
bring back too many memories of you,
when i look in the mirror,
i see that little girl,
that you took advantage of,
not the person i am today.