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(March 19th 1997 / Tumut)

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Daddy, I'm Sorry

Daddy,
I sit awake at night
Crying...Waiting.
I don't want to get that call.
I know that I'm selfish,
but God only knows how much I still need you here!
I'm not ready to let go.
I'm so sad, yet I'm so angry at you!
Why weren't you there?
Why didn't you make more of an effort?
How could you let so much time go by?
I sit here now,
Crying.
Thinking of you.
Damn you!
You're supposed to watch me grow older…
You're supposed to walk me down the aisle!
What am I supposed to do?
I'm so alone.
I know that I have made a lot of mistakes,
and that I let so much time go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there.
I'm sorry that it took me this long to see.
I'm sorry that I can't get over the past.
I'm sorry that I'm just now realising how much you really mean to me.
I love you, Daddy.
I just want a second chance.
And I want to say that everything is going to be okay,
that everything is going to be fine…
You will come home and get better and we will play games again,
or order some pizza and watch movies together!
But I know that it's not okay.
I know that what I want isn't going to happen.
I just wish I could save you.
I wish that I could go back and be there.
And now I have to live with myself for the things that have happened.
I just want you to know before, that I always loved you, and will continue to…
No matter the outcome, I want you to know that I'm here for you!
I love you Daddy.
Don't forget about me.

Submitted: Sunday, April 07, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, October 09, 2013


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