Cyranose Poem by Saiom Shriver

Steve Martin wrote the screenplay for and starred in Roxanne, a modern rendition of Cyrano de Bergerac. Here are 24 jokes he told about his character's nose in Roxanne.


'Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she will blow!
Fashionable: You could de-emphasise your nose if you wore something larger......like Wyoming.
Personal: Well, here we are...Just the three of us.
Punctual: Okay, your nose was on time, but you were minutes late.
Envious: Oh, I wish I were you......to be able to smell your own ear!
Naughty: Some of the ladies have asked if you would put that thing away.
Philosophical: It is not the size of a nose that is important....it is what is in it that matters.
Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you......sneeze and it is goodbye.... Seattle
Commercial: Hi, I am Earl Scheib and I can paint that nose for $3800. (poster put it in the amount)
Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing the tempo.
Melodic: Everybody. He has got the whole world in his nose.
Sympathetic: What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
Complimentary: You must love the birdies......to give them this to perch on.
Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
Obscure: Whoa, I would hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it.
Inquiry: When you stop and smell the flowers......are they afraid?
French: The pigs have refused to find any more truffles......until you leave.
Pornographic: Finally a man who can satisfy two women at once.
Religious: The Lord giveth......and He just kept on giving, did he not?
Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee...in Brazil
Appreciative: Oh, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.'

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